And what is beauty, anyway?
And how do we decide?
If we look around the world,
it changes with the tide.
And what about the history books?
Do they all agree?
From days of yore to evermore,
not from what I see!
And so it is that beauty lies
somewhere down, deep inside.
Our differences are beautiful
and not to be denied.
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Image: woophy.com
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Danshui, Taiwan
Sometimes you don’t know how much something means to you until . . .
I looked. I looked again. What on earth?
My jewelry box was missing.
Where could it have gone?
It was late. I was tired. But I couldn’t sleep–not now. I began searching. Under the bathroom sink, behind the toilet, in my backpack, in the trashcan . . .
In the trashcan? you’re probably thinking. Are you crazy?
Perhaps I should explain. Continue reading
My Nana died tonight. I didn’t cry. I have, and I will. But I didn’t when I heard the news. Some things take a while to settle in.
Grandparents are the best!
It occurred to me recently that, in the span of six months, I have gone from having three living grandparents to, now, only one. It is something that was never supposed to happen, really. Grandparents aren’t supposed to die. They’re the ones who tickle you and tell you stories and sneak you treats when Mom and Dad aren’t looking. They’re the ones with gray hair and wrinkles and sparkly eyes and easy smiles. They’re the ones who age but don’t get old, who tire but are never too tired for you.
They are, and always have been, for eternity.
Until tonight. Continue reading
I often stop and think
standing in a crowd,
when nothing seems in sync,
everything, just loud.
When everyone is talking—
nothing’s being said.
When everyone is moving—
pieces being led.
When light is eery shading:
scenes are black and white.
Familiar faces fading;
distant, lost from sight.
Yup, I don’t belong here,
anyone can see.
If only . . . Never mind, dear.
Time for me to flee.
…
me
Friday.
Yay!
Bars.
Cigars.
Beer?
“Here!”
Wine.
Dine.
Me.
(See?)
Home.
Roam.
Alone.
And I prefer it that way.
…
…
*image: theeventpainter.com
…
It was dark. Suddenly, as I scurried about my apartment cleaning and folding laundry in shorts and a tee, I realized my blinds were open.
Oh, no!
The view from my window.
I live on the first floor near the entrance of a busy apartment complex. Directly outside my bedroom window is a sidewalk lined by grass and trees. Across the street is a pool and fitness center. A nice location, for sure, but not when one considers a little thing called privacy.
Here in the West, privacy is held in high esteem. Close the blinds, Johnny! Someone might see! Even when I lived on the second floor of a large home on several acres—when a person would have had to climb a tree to see in my window—still, as soon as night fell, Close the blinds, Jess. Someone might see! Continue reading
What I didn’t expect was the identity crisis. Some things aren’t supposed to change.
Perhaps you’ve been there, too.
When I was a child, life was simple. Decisions were easy. Choices, slim. And everyone around me was doing the same: college was the horizon.
Fast-forward five years.
Life’s still simple. Life’s still good. A desire previously unfulfilled has been achieved: At college, 3,000 miles from home, I have freedom. I have independence. I’ve left childhood behind and have thousands of years to go. The only trouble? What comes next?
An English degree, a couple of jobs, and a life-changing, three-year tenure in Asia—that’s what . . . Not to mention the splitting of my home, my 28th birthday, and the poignant realization that, just as time passes, so does youth. No matter how hard I try, I am limited by my lifespan.
I can never see it all, travel it all, write it all, learn it all. I can’t fix it all, have it all, understand it all, or even love it all.
The horizon has become the horizon, and, by its infinity, shown me my limitations.
And, suddenly, I am wavering. Many things I believed to be true have proven to be false, and many things I thought would never be have, in fact, become reality.
And I find myself wondering at the mysteries of life and the way time passes . . . And the energy of youth and the wisdom of age . . . And the fact that I believe in God but have difficulty trusting Him . . .
Or knowing how I fit into His plan.
shift 