Been struggling to find inspiration lately. Maybe I’m just jaded? I mean, how many more shootings can I write about? And the royal wedding was splendid and all, but I didn’t even know it was happening until it was over. (Yes, I’m out of touch.) I’ve been searching for meaning and struggling to find it, even in my triathlon training. Like, who cares? What’s the point? I keep thinking about my friend from college in Africa. I’ve been back in the States too long. Maybe once I finish this grad school thing, it’s time to go where I feel like I can really make a difference.
Below is a poem I originally published on February 20, 2013. It seems appropriate today.
writer’s block
I’m reaching and falling.
I’m hemming and hawing.
I’m trying and failing.
I’m rowing, now bailing.
Stop.
Another day.
(Go outside.)
(Never give up.)
…
My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living. — Anais Nin
I’ll be honest: I’m discouraged tonight. Life isn’t always easy; in fact, sometimes it’s downright hard.
That said . . . There are certain universal truths that we must all cling to during difficult times. One of them is that, like music, poetry can make everything better. :)
This poem is perhaps my favorite to date because it is one of my technical best. I originally posted it on September 3, 2013.
The Wild Wind Blows
The wild wind blows,
In caverns – slows
The beating of my heart.
In darkness deep,
Where creepers creep,
I dream of days, depart —
To summer sun
Where rivers run,
And all the world’s an art —
And all of love
A perfect glove,
And you, the perfect part.
The wild wind blows,
A blanket, snows,
Alone, I’m miles apart —
In darkness deep
And silence steep,
From you who has my heart.
Speaking of poetry . . . I may not be able to write poems anymore, but this lady sure can. She made me cry.
I looked in the mirror and what did I see, but a little old lady peering back at me, with bags and sags and wrinkles and wispy white hair, and I asked my reflection, “How did you get there?
You once were straight and vigorous, and now you’re stooped and weak when I tried so hard to keep you from becoming an antique.”
My reflection’s eyes twinkled, and she solemnly replied, “You’re looking at the gift wrap and not the jewel inside, a living gem and precious of un-imagined worth, unique and true, the real you, the only you on earth.
The years that spoil your gift wrap with other things more cruel should purify and strengthen and polish up that jewel.
So focus your attention on the inside, not the out— on being kinder, wiser, more content, and more devout.
Then, when your gift wrap is stripped away, your jewel will be set free, to radiate God’s glory, throughout eternity.”
The “little old lady” reciting this poem is Wanda Goines. She was 92 when this video was recorded in 2015. According to ABC News, she wrote the poem years ago, but it only became known when her caregiver posted this video on YouTube. Today it stands at almost 3.5 million views . . . Not bad for a little old lady!
I’m 33 and can already relate to this poem. I say “already” because, at 33, 33 doesn’t seem so old. When I was 23, 33 was “pretty old”; at 13, accordingly, it meant “almost dead” . . . This perspective will change yet again when I am 43, and 53, and 63. When I am 73, 33 will probably mean “baby,” and that, to be honest, scares me. These last 33 years have been far from easy; if 33 equals “baby,” I’m terrified of what’s to come.
But that’s kind of Wanda’s point, isn’t it?
Life ishard — for everyone — and over the years it does things to our appearance that we don’t always like. At 33 I have more wrinkles than I did at 23. I have more gray hairs. (Okay, I haven’t actually seen any yet, but that’s because I’m blonde . . .) I get sore more easily. I take longer to heal when sick or wounded. If had a rock-climbing accident today like I did at 18, I probably wouldn’t survive.
No one is immune. Everyone will die.
And that’s why Wanda is right on. In this world of superficiality, where youth is worshiped and beauty idolized, even the rich and famous get old, and no amount of plastic surgery or fancy clothing can change this. The only thing we have control over is how we live. How much we love, care, laugh, strive — these are the things that matter. These are the things we’ll be remembered for.
I am reminded of Princess Diana. She was a beautiful woman, certainly, but I would argue that she’s remembered as much for her kindheartedness and love as she is for her beautiful face. By contrast, certain celebrities considered beautiful today somehow become less beautiful in light of their selfish or foolish actions. We are what we eat, and also, how we act. Love is greater than beauty. Love is beauty.
Note: This is a reminder to myself as much as it is for the reader. Lord knows I worry about my appearance far too much!
Because it’s been too long and there hasn’t been time and my mind’s been on and you’ve been on it.
This.
Lake Sonoma
..
The world is too much with us; late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers: Little we see in Nature that is ours.
— William Wordsworth
..
Little we see . . . or even notice? With all the hustle and bustle, and bad news and bad guys, and pressures and deadlines, and so on and so on, sometimes it’s more than this introverted thoughtful can handle. We live in a beautiful world. Our beautiful home. And yet what do we do with it? Where do we stand?
Don’t believe me (about the beautiful part)? Check out this video.
I thought to write,
but as it were,
my thoughts were but
a sully blur.
And eyes were glass,
and heart was pale,
oh, what an ass,
a sorry fail!
And still I tried,
I tarried on,
I sought to find
the words were gone.
But all they did
was laugh at me,
around and ’round,
“Tee-hee! Tee-hee!”
Determined now,
I hurried on,
Forget the night,
I’d seize the dawn.
I grabbed my pen,
I found my ale,
some coffee, too,
forget the kale!
And there I sat,
and sat, and sat,
’til glazey-eyed,
I saw a bat.
I swung and swirled
and tipped and twirled,
I missed the words,
but rocked the world!
And then I sat,
and sat and sat,
’til, eyelids drooped,
I heard the cat.
And in he came,
and out I went,
Forget the words,
this writer’s spent.
..
Note: This is based on a real life story: After days at work, this has often been me. Oh, how I have wanted to write. Oh, how words have evaded me.
..
For a (very bad) audio of this poem, click below.
.. Image: Google — Kafka burning the midnight oil ..
I haven’t posted any poetry in a while, and this time, I won’t be posting mine. Instead, I wanted to share a poem by William Henry Davies, which my dear friend Fraggle pointed out me yesterday. It is, I must say, both fitting and sublime.
..
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
Poetry I cannot force,
it comes and then it goes.
Like a river at its source,
it ebbs and then it flows.
Words, you see, are only that,
and rhyme and rhythm, too.
Poetry’s not pit-a-pat,
but here in me and you.
–in the sun and in the rain,
the things that quiet tears;
in the love and in the pain–
experience of years.
Then the poet, what is she?
She’s nothing like a muse.
Rather, she’s a puppet, see,
and words her only use.
So poetry, my fickle friend,
I wonder what’s in store?
Will you stay until the end,
or show me to the door? .. For an audio recording of this poem, click here:
“Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.”
– Charles Bukowski
..
Note: The first stanza of this poem came to me in a moment of frustration when I was trying very, very hard to write another poem on a very different subject–and getting nowhere. Since that time, it has taken me FOREVER to finish this. Fickle is right!
shift 