i am . . .

It’s a quiet night on the home front. Bike is put away; swim gear is drying. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow — had to get in as much today as I could . . . in honor of my birthday.

I’m calmer this year facing my birthday than I’ve been in years past. I don’t have any plans, and I don’t mind. It’s just . . . The days drag and the years fly on. Where does time go?

I must be the oldest almost 34-year-old on the planet.

I’m learning to accept myself this year. Calling myself beautiful instead of calling myself names. It’s not easy to change the way you see yourself, but it’s worth it. It sets the course for the rest of your life — and, in some cases, for others.

I saw this video recently and really liked it. Please, let me know what you think. :)

The most powerful force in the human psyche is how we describe ourselves to ourselves. Who’s giving you labels?

34 is going to be my best year yet.

the trouble is

buddha“I turned thirty today. Wondered where the years have gone. I was never going to be thirty — ever. And here I am.”

After reading my birthday post, my Uncle Russell told me: “And now you think you’ll be in your thirties for forever! LOL!” And while he said it to be funny, it hit me suddenly — “By God, he’s right!” Every year seems to go faster than the last. Can you believe 2014 is already almost a quarter over?

And then I started thinking about my last post. We all have so many dreams, and so many people put them off for so long. “When I get that promotion . . .” “When the kids are grown . . .” “When I quit my second job . . .” “When the time is right . . .” We wait and wait and wait to go after the things we love. Often we wait so long that we forget what we are passionate about.

Recently, my sweet friend Carol told me:

“Don’t waste the years ahead. You are the creator of your future.”

You are the creator of your future. I love that. But we love to make excuses, do you know that? “I can’t because . . .” “I didn’t because . . .”

Of course this life isn’t all about us. Throughout life, sacrifices must be made. We have responsibilities, lovers, children, mothers . . . The best things in life are the ones that aren’t about us. But then another dear friend, Tony, reminded me that, while it may be terrifying to [go after what you love], going after what you love is “not as terrifying as approaching the end of your life and thinking, What if I had [fill in the blank]? Why didn’t I at least have the courage to try?”

We all have one life to live. What are you doing with yours?


Image: Google

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P.S. Happy Birthday to an old friend. I always remember.

here’s to thirty


This girl will always revel in nature… The moon rising behind my apartment the other night.

I turned thirty today. Wondered where the years have gone. I was never going to be thirty — ever. And here I am.

It’s a good thing, though — getting older. My twenties were good years, but hard. I “shifted” a lot as life changed. (You can see where I’m going with this.) I wrote in a post in 2012 when I was living in Hong Kong: “What I didn’t expect was the identity crisis — some things aren’t supposed to change.” I was referring to being young, to my family always being together, to being alone . . . We get used to things, us humans. We like routine; we form ideas about who we are. Continue reading


So, I don’t know about you, but today felt pretty much like every other day to me. It started out the same. The sun rose, the earth spun, noon came, the sun sank, and now, well, it’s really, really dark. Most people went to work like they always do. Everything seemed the same.

And, yet, apparently, it was different.

You see, today was (gasp!) 12.12.12. The last time we’ll see a repeating date in our lifetimes . . .


12_12_12_12_12_12And this is significant because . . . ?

That’s what I thought.

It always amuses me how much emphasis people place on dates. No, I’m not talking about anniversary dates or birth dates. (Of course you’d better remember those, guys!) I’m talking about calendar dates. Dates like 11.11.11 or 12.12.12, or even entire years. (You know you only have 19 days left to live, right? After all, the world will end this year . . . Does anyone really believe that?) Sometimes I get the feeling that mankind just likes to psyche itself out. Scare itself a little. Maybe in the humdrum of normal life we need a little something to wake ourselves up. “It’s 12.12.12, guys! No waaayyyy!!!”

But, my question is, don’t we have something better to get excited about? 12.12.12 is a man-made date just like any other. As a matter of fact, I’ll bet that, when you wake up tomorrow, on 12.13.12, things will feel an awful lot like they did today. And yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that.

And . . .

Wouldn’t it be better if we were focused internally—on improving ourselves and improving the lives of others—instead of looking for something external to bring excitement and give meaning to our lives? Wouldn’t it be better if we were excited about something that actually mattered?

Just food for thought. Happy 12.12.12, everyone! ;)

*Image credit: memegenerator.net