thoughts on a sunday morning

I’m sitting at my kitchen counter sipping caramel coffee and wishing I had more time. Time to explore, time to read, time to help, time to breathe. I’m lucky, too. Luckier than most. But still, this world and the time we are allotted are not enough.

I made a friend recently who told me he’s an atheist. After hearing more of his life story, I didn’t wonder why.

I have friends who had wonderful childhoods who’ve become atheists, too. You never know.

Living in Asia made me question everything I’d ever been taught about religion. I still don’t have any answers.

I’ve been thinking, too, about expectations and desires versus reality. Reality never aligns itself with Hollywood versions of caked-out weddings and happily-ever-afters. Even in the happily-ever-afters, reality’s life is HARD.

Patience is HARD.

Never compare your life to anyone else’s, people say . . . while they post on social media happy images of the engagement party they attended yesterday. No one says anything about the anxiety leading up to the party or the way they REALLY feel inside . . . Or if they do they’re looking for sympathy. That’s just as bad.

You CAN’T win.

Or can you?

Me I just forge forward, fighting for positive and looking for good, being myself and not apologizing for being real. You lose every time you lie to yourself or others. Honesty is HUGE.

Yesterday I participated in my first dragon boat race. It was a fundraiser for Knoxville Area Rescue Ministries and a great bonding experience with my newfound poetry and game friends. I was exhausted when it was over, but thrilled to have gotten to join in on an event I’d previously only watched in Hong Kong.

Oh the memories.

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14 thoughts

    • I agree, they are. But they’re connected in that they form the fundamental way we view and approach life… I’m still sorting through the details, lol.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!!

  1. As much as I enjoy and am perhaps a little addicted to social media and messaging friends I’ve never met in person, I try never to get fooled into thinking the crafted images and words are the reality of their life.
    Dragon boat racing was popular in Canberra, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen any boats on the lakes.

    • I believe you, Gary! I think we all *know* there’s more going on behind the scenes of social media, but sometimes I still find myself playing the comparison game. It’s natural.

      Dragon boat racing is everywhere these days! I think it’s really neat, although obviously a lot of the cultural significance is lost when it’s done in, say, Knoxville as compared to places like Hong Kong.

    • No, not always. But sometimes it does. Christians like to portray God as a loving Father. If you’ve never seen or felt love, why would you believe *that*?

      I am not arguing for or against atheism (or Christianity or any other religion, for that matter) in this post. Just thinking out loud.

  2. What you see on social media is what you see…it is often never what someone is thinking entirely or what they really have been through. These days I am not much on social media and am in the process of cleaning out what I’ve shared over the years. I’ve stopped looking through my Facebook feeds because I’ve come to ask myself why do I want to know about someone else’s lives. Sure, it’s nice keeping in touch but looking at someone’s photo or status updates only does so much.

    Congrats on your first dragon boat race! It looked like such a good time and a lovely bunch of teammates :)

    • I need to emulate you, Mabel! I’ve been using social media as a tool to keep in touch with current friends and events here in Knoxville. Spending much less time looking through my news feed. I think everyone is a little different. We all have to do what feels right to us… Some people are more private than others. I never overshare — not here or on facebook. I think sometimes when we do not feel satisfied with where we are in life it is easier to compare, too. Again, this post was just me thinking out loud.

      And yes, the dragon boat race was amazing! I feel lucky to have met this group of people.

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