waiting

waitingWhat worries me is the way it sucks it out of me. Life.

There’s nothing new under the sun, a wise person once said. And he is right. And he is wrong. There are new things, because there are new people. Yes, we’re all the same and go through similar things, but only you can experience your life, and even you can only experience it once.

And things never go as planned, and questions never go away. Everywhere we look we have scientists and preachers and stories and teachers explaining: This is how things are. This is where you’ll be. This is how to live. This is what you’ll see.

But in the end there’s a lot we don’t know and can’t control. There’s a lot we can’t see.

Sometimes there are no right answers, no easy fixes, no straight and narrow.

And in these moments, and in the end, it’s just us and the silence, waiting.

 

9 thoughts

  1. This was a dark read, Jess. Waiting and not know if can be hard, especially if it takes a toll on us either physically or mentally. I always believe in new things, or at least this are always different. As you said, people are different. And every sunrise and sunset is different. It’s the little things in life that will make us see the best in the world.

    • Yes it is, Mabel. The little things are what pull us through. At the moment I’m waiting for various factions in my life to play out so I can see them through. I wanted to write something much brighter, but when I sat down, this is what came out.

      Maybe I just need to travel again. ;)

  2. Yes, waiting is an uncomfortable place to be, but you must remember Jess, the only thing constant is change, 😊 and you,and life will move on. In the meantime, as Mabel says, it’s the sunsets and sunrises, and the little things of goodness and beauty that get us through.

    • Yes it is, Fraggle, and the comments from kind people like you! It’s okay to have dark moments, too, just so long as you don’t stay in them. They induce greater appreciation for the light.

  3. I understand Jess and I will stand, sit, walk, run, spar, take hits for you, scream, or stick our tongues out at this… this moment you speak of! If I may, that might soothe. It’s one of my all-time favorites…

    It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

    It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

    It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

    I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

    I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

    It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

    I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

    I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

    It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

    It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

    It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

    I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
    —- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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