The wild wind blows
in caverns – slows
the beating of my heart.
In darkness deep,
where creepers creep,
I dream of days, depart —
To summer sun
where rivers run,
and all the world’s an art —
And all of love,
a perfect glove,
and you, the perfect part.
The wild wind blows,
a blanket, snows,
alone, I’m miles apart —
In darkness deep
and silence steep,
from you who has my heart.
..
For an audio recording of this poem, click here:
(Note: I’ll probably be editing this one for years . . . !)
“This morning I took out a comma and this afternoon I put it back again.”
― Oscar Wilde
..
Image: Google
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Art.
An attempt, anyway — ha! But thanks…
Love it
Thanks, Danny. :)
Jess, this is by far the best poem you’ve ever posted here. The rhyming is beautifully done, the imagery is transformative, and the length is perfect. Wow, I am in awe, and I really want to reblog this. :)
Thank you, Sam. That means a lot. I’ve actually edited it since I first posted it, and may again. We’ll see. But thanks for your support!
You’re welcome! That reminds me of a quote about writing being fluid, even when it’s “done.”
You have a brilliant narrative voice for a dark children’s tale. I mean that in the best possible way; innocent, slightly playful, musical, but there’s something there that you just know is going to blissfully shock you :)
Good observation John!
It’s true, isn’t it?
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring… well, perhaps just a louse…
Lol. Thank you, both of you. I will take that as a compliment!
And I like that, John. “…well, perhaps just a louse…” Haha.
you’re lovely to listen to, Jessica. x tony
you’re so sweet, tony — and i know you are, too… x jess
You’re spoiling me with the audio edition and I like it. =)
I’m going to keep it up. I think the audio helps some readers find the rhythm. It seems to be worth doing… So, glad you like it!
*alone, I’m miles apart –*
That’s an especially good line…
Thank you, Vance. This poem took quite a lot of tweaking! I picked a terrible rhyming scheme, lol, and that particular line was edited a lot of times… In the end, though, I think it worked out. I’m glad to hear you think so, too!
Wonderful poem. The title is perfect, I like that thought of the “wild wind blows” and no one ever knows how things will play out. This poem is one of my favorite of yours, as it has such positive feelings, but still mystery and sense of adventure. Nice work Jess.
Thank you, Randall. I never know how my poems are going to turn out. I come up with the first few lines and the poems seem to grow minds of their own from there… This and “the butterfly” are my two favorites so far. Hopefully there will be more favorites soon. ;)
Ah, the intensity of compressed, restrained, yet fragile unpredictable love. Hmmm.
So true Professor!
Yes, Professor. And I think that that’s the beauty of poetry. Intense feeling compressed by words. Sublime.
Thanks Jessica for following the advice of your blogee’s and writing more poetry. I find myself looking forward to “shift” everyday.
You are too kind. I wish I had it in me to post every day… Alas, every two or three seems to be the best I can do. I’ll try to write more poetry. It isn’t something I can force, that’s for sure!
Beautiful words and wonderfuly read. I really enjoy hearing your voice with your words, adds a new dimension.
Hope you are well.
sincerely
Benjamin
Thank you, Benjamin. I think the audio adds a new dimension, too. It’s fun!
I’m doing okay… I hope the same is true for you. :)
Jess
Thanks Jess, I’m going okay. :-D
This is well done, Jess. I think it’s the best of yours I’ve read. Beauty!
Thank you, Lucas! And sorry for my late response… I think my poetry is improving as I go. At least I hope so! Much love to you, Jess
I love it! :)
Ohh, I’m so glad, Riz! Thank you! That means so much!
Your welcome! I haven’t read much of your poetry, but I think the other comments are true. This one’s a really good one. :-)
Hey, you deleted my comment. Technically, “perfect” is better than “lovely” with a dampening effect, because “part” is not that strong or supposed to be that strong when you utter the words. Semantically, “lovely” simply doesn’t do it. If he is just lovely, what’s the problem of being miles apart? My mother tongue is Chinese, but even in Chinese classic poetry, rhythm is the most important ingredient of a poem. I can’t find a better word than “perfect,” unfortunately.
The poem isn’t done. I never intended the poem to be sexual so, when you interpreted it that way, I looked for ways to change it. Unfortunately, I think “perfect” works better than “lovely,” too, and since no other readers interpreted that stanza the way you did, it’s likely I will change it back.
I appreciate your interest but request that you stop criticizing me and my work. When I need a critic’s opinion, I will ask for it. Also, I am not looking for a husband. Thank you.
I will continue to delete your comments if they are at all in line with the things I have just mentioned.
I am sorry. I will be careful with my comments from now on. I thought about a mother-daughter relationship as well. It doesn’t work. It’s at least a love poem.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
“In darkness deep
and silence steep,
from you who has my heart”
Beautiful ending. Really enjoy your poetry, as well as the audio recording. How do you implement that on your site? I followed your example and recorded something as well, but I can’t figure out how to put it on my blog.
Thank you so much! That means a lot… As for implementing sound, I had to pay for an upgrade to be able to post mp3 recordings to my site, and then I converted my .mov files (which I created using QuickTime) to .mp3s using zamzar.com. Does that help?
I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Thanks again!
Thank you! The site seems really useful, I’ll look into that. I took a different path to uploading the spoken version of my poem, using souncloud, but it is now proudly available on my blog.
Awesome! So glad to hear it. Yeah, I just did the quickest thing that worked for me, but I know there are many ways to do it. Congrats! I will take a look–and listen–to it soon!