my fear

parismoon..

Sometimes I lie awake at night, terrified.

I’m scared of:

Being the right girl.

Being the wrong one.

Being a good girl.

Being a bad one.

Holding on.

Letting go.

Abandoning dreams.

Creating new ones.

Thinking too much.

Not thinking enough.

Being too rigid.

Letting things go.

Holding in.

Speaking out.

Staying in one place.

Never settling down.

Going broke.

Making ends meet.

Growing old.

Dying young.

Dreaming too little.

Dreaming too much.

Being understood.

Being misunderstood.

Letting you down.

Filling you up.

Moving forward.

Moving backward.

Asking questions.

Not asking questions.

Seeing the world.

Not seeing the world.

Loving too much.

Not loving enough.

Loving you.

Loving myself.

Posting this.

Not posting this.

Taking the risk.

Not taking it.

Tagged ,

26 thoughts on “my fear

  1. Mabel Kwong says:

    I like this poem a lot. Reminds me that there are always two sides to every thing. I think fear brings out our insecurities. Which can be a good thing because then we can learn from them. And then take one step closer to loving ourselves and seeing our flaws as our perfect imperfections.

    • Jessica says:

      Yes, there is fear both ways. Fear *is* insecurity. And yes, the best way to face fear is head on. It’s the only way, really. :) You are so right, Mabel!

  2. ksummersb says:

    I love this – it really captures the dueling fears we often face in life. I’m terrified of flying – but I’m more scared of letting my fear of flying keep me from seeing the world, LOL…so I face the one fear to acomodate the other. :) It can be exhausting! Recognizing those fears for what they are and making active choices is how we grow though :)

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you, Elizabeth. I’m so glad you liked this. Your feedback means more than you know. And yes, it can be hard to face our fears, but doing so is so important for growth! Thank you so much for your comment, and I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to respond. My life has been crazy recently! Hope you’re having a great week. :)

  3. Jeff Walker says:

    Congratulations. You’re just like the rest of us. :)

  4. This is a very timely post for me! I needed someone to shake me up and get me back on track. You just did that with your poem!!

  5. 1stpeaksteve says:

    Sometimes I run. Sometimes I can only crawl a few inches forward in a day. I can look back and smile or not be satisfied.

    As long as I move forward to some nth of a degree then the journey is moving forward.

  6. JMC813 says:

    Such uncertainty is contained in the human condition. This was a very good piece that is extremely relatable Jess.

  7. oldironhoss says:

    Loving too much.

    Not loving enough.

    Loving you.

    Loving myself.

    Love ya!

  8. I think in asking these questions you’ve proven your humanity and thus similarity to the rest of us. We can see you through your writing and we trust you.

  9. fpdorchak says:

    Ain’t no angst like Human angst! Nice work!

  10. Dalo 2013 says:

    This is such a fantastic poem…it seems to cover exactly what life is about. Uncertainty which creates doubt: you can bounce back & forth between facts, and the way things are (and never moving), or you can just take a look at the options in front of you ~ make a decision, and go forward boldly. Feelings we have almost every day :-)

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you, Randy. My life has changed so much in the last year, and sometimes it’s scary. It’s really great to know that others relate. Hope you’ve been well. I’ll get back into the swing of blogging soon. I always love your posts.

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