listen to your heart

trolley

What is yours telling you?

I’ve been starting blog posts in my head all week.

“Looking back, I should have stormed out of his office.”

“I got a job offer. I didn’t take it.”

“What does ‘meaning’ mean to you?”

“Does everything have to be a lesson?”

Instead of finishing them, though, I’ve been writing things like this:

“Hi!

My name is Jessica. I am contacting you regarding your ad for a one-bedroom apartment listed on Craigslist. Currently I live in the Sacramento area, but I need to move to the Bay Area very soon . . .”

I’ve then been driving to and from Berkeley (about two hours each way) every day looking at places and realizing that finding housing in the Bay Area is IMPOSSIBLE. Even if you have money (I don’t), the housing demand is so great that no sooner does a person put up an ad on Craigslist than twenty business professionals/students/etc. are banging down their door.

It is a cut-throat fight to find anything around here.

And so days have passed since my eventful “working interview,” which turned out to be a total sham, and which proved to me once again that any time someone is rushing you about something important, it’s time to RUN.

The company was a “direct marketing” firm for big names like the Oakland A’s, supposedly, but what they really were were door-to-door salesman who’d been fooled into thinking they were on a fast-track to management. While they were working tirelessly in a field they hated, another man was reaping their rewards and getting rich. I could go on, but when the CEO tried to make me feel bad for asking questions and indicated that money should be my biggest motivating factor, I knew something wasn’t right.

I left the interview exhausted and upset. I knew I needed a job, and needed it soon, but could I compromise who I am and what I believe in to do a job I hated, not to mention didn’t feel right about?

My answer came that night when I got home. I checked my email for the first time in more than 48 hours, and what did I find? A response from a job I’d applied for weeks earlier and given up on. I won’t say too much more about it right now, but I will say that my first interview went well. In fact, I’ve had three exciting interviews since the marketing interview disaster . . .

And so it really is true: We should always listen to our hearts.

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20 thoughts on “listen to your heart

  1. Mabel Kwong says:

    So sorry to hear about the sham interview, Jess. It sounded like they were being very manipulative and not honest about what they were doing. Job hunting can be very frustrating and I sympathise with you. It’s time consuming putting together the application and preparing for the interviews. Most of the time when you score an interview, it’s hard to predict if the company will warm towards you based on first impressions.

    I recently began a mundane office job in the public sector. It’s not a field that I’m keen on working in but I took it anyway against what my heart was telling me. Because it’s only for a few months, I just grin and bear it Monday to Fridays, because I know something else is waiting for me around the corner. And I’m sure something good’s headed your way too :)

  2. Ahh, I know what this feels like. Ugh. Horrible. It sounded like things hadn’t gone as hoped, when I got your reply to the last post. Just as well you’re on to (hopefully) better things.

    • Jessica says:

      I should write a clearer follow-up post, but the truth is I applied for this job on a whim because I was starting to feel desperate for work. The jobs I really wanted weren’t getting back to me, and since I really need to find employment soon, when I saw this opening, I though, “Eh, why not?” The job turned out to be a sham and it’s not a surprise. But I *am* a little irritated with myself for getting sucked in enough to have spent a night in a hotel!

  3. Steven says:

    Jess, sorry that the job was a sham. You’re not alone, though. I had a series of Skype interviews for an amazing teaching job in Valencia. It sounded perfect…a great package, apartment etc. I did a few times think it sounded too be good to be true, but based on how many face to face interviews I had, and where I found the jpb posting…Dave’s ESL Cafe…I went for it. I flew from Miami at my own expense, and with my last pennies arrived in Spain…to no job. It was all a hoax, and I lost around $3000 all told, but to the hoaxers probably only about $700. I won’t go into details…still makes me angry 2 years later, but you’re right, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is, and we should always…always…listen to our hearts.

    • Jessica says:

      Ohh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Steven. I can’t believe that! Every job I’ve had abroad has paid for my flights, though, so that would have been a big red flag to me… And yet, I think I *still* easily would have done the same.

      Here’s to learning lessons the hard way, eh?

  4. Well, just finished your previous post — thinking the marketing interview had gone very well — and then I read this. But I must admit, the “sham” crossed my mind as I read the approach that initial interviewer was taking, even more so when she immediately asked you back. In sales or marketing, that “pie in the sky” hype (direct or indirect) is often overly abused as motivation. Fail. LOL

    Yes, absolutely listen to and follow your heart! If you don’t, the ‘passion’ and dedication employers so desperately seek in employees will never blossom, especially in sales!

    Still wishing you much success Jess! It will happen; you deserve it!

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you! Yes, I had the sense of sham during the whole process, too, but I kind of needed to feel the whole thing out. In the end I learned a valuable lesson — if someone’s pressuring you, get out! — and am off to bigger and better things. It *is* true that taking that job would have been a big mistake and would have definitely inhibited my ability to pursue the things I really love.

      Hope you’re having a great week, Professor!

  5. oldironhoss says:

    You inspired me to write another memory – and u rock – so carry on!

  6. JayM says:

    Best of luck with the interviews Jessica! And remember when one door closes, another opens as long as you keep getting out there, which you are doing!

  7. Dalo 2013 says:

    There is nothing more deflating than going through such sham interviews…been through a few. There is always something to take away from them, though, as you have found out and always another light and the end of another tunnel to pursue :-) Wish you the best.

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you, Randy. Yes, it was a sham, but not surprising considering everything. That door has closed but another far better one may soon be opening. We shall see…

      Do you have any trips to China coming up?

      • Dalo 2013 says:

        That really is the beauty of life, always something else interesting around the corner. I’m heading back to Hong Kong next week and then up to Hangzhou at the beginning of April…looking forward to it.

  8. ooh… looking forward to hearing about your potential job….

    whatever it may be, and wherever you may be (indeed, i’ve heard finding housing there is so difficult..) may God be near.

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you, Sophia. He has been. Just when that interview turned into a fail, I got the email from the job I *really* wanted. Here’s hoping I don’t screw *that* one up… God is near!

  9. cupitonians says:

    I totally agree with you. You should hold out for your hearts desires. I do hope you find that house soon though!

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