it’s a hard knock life

eldo-raleysI’m walking to my car in a Raley’s parking lot. It’s about 6 p.m., dark, and cold. I shiver as an icy breeze picks up. Why oh why did I forget my jacket?

Suddenly, I notice a woman off to the left. Her car is parked across a grassy divide facing mine. She’s at her car, like I am now, only . . . What on earth is she doing? The woman isn’t getting into her car but, rather, is pacing beside it. From trunk to passenger’s side, to trunk to — Nope! Nope! she looks at the driver’s side — passenger’s side. She looks angry. Safely inside my car now, I realize what’s going on, and, I’ll be honest, start laughing. The lady has parked her car a little to the left in her parking space. The truck beside her is parked a little to its right. The lady is about 100 pounds overweight . . . She can’t get into her own car!

Every time the woman approaches the passenger’s side door, you can tell she’s contemplating climbing into the driver’s seat that way. But it’s like she’s too proud. She’d rather stand there fuming until the driver of the truck comes out so she can give him a piece of her mind . . . Never mind that she herself is parked too closely to him!

As I drive away, still laughing, watching the woman still pacing in my rearview mirror, I can’t help but muse, “Oh American woman of El Dorado Hills, life sure is tough, ain’t it?!”

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Image: Google

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36 thoughts on “it’s a hard knock life

  1. You know, something like that happened to me not so long ago!!! Only the car park spacing was ridiculously tight! If you were not a size zero and a car parked next to you, there was no way to open the door! I had my kids with me too. We went through the boot eventually!

    • Jessica says:

      Haha, that’s terrible! Sometimes I swear city planners must be taking drugs when they design parking lots! I think more accidents happen there than anywhere else.

  2. john zande says:

    I saw a woman get wedged once in a bus turnstiles. She really got in there and then got hopelessly stuck. It was as if the laws of physics had been suspended for that brief moment (to allow her in) then washed back in like a tide, wrapping her up in an impossible position. People tried pulling her through, then, failing that, pushing her back. Nothing worked. They were still going at her when my stop came up… and for all i know she’s on that bus :)

    • Jessica says:

      Oh my goodness! That’s terrible! I will say that I’ve gotten my arm into small spaces once in a while and had a difficult time pulling it out, but my entire body? I hope she came out okay! I’d be kind of embarrassed to tell people I got hurt in that way. :P

  3. matt says:

    HAHA! Could there be better example of a ‘first-world problem’ than this? Someone so well fed she can’t get into her own car.

    Thanks for sharing, Jessica…

    • Jessica says:

      Thanks for reading, Matt! Yeah, living abroad really made me realize how much many people take for granted in the States. The scenario really did make me laugh, too. She was SO MAD!!! :D

  4. dinkerson says:

    Lol. I love it! :) :D
    The other day I watched a lady trying to get out of her van to go do some shopping. It took three men and just over fifteen minutes to get her out the door and precariously perched on top (and down both sides) of her little cart. At least it seemed little ;)
    Lol!! Okay one more.
    This one was painful to watch, but I was at the theme park just last summer and this lady tried to get on a ride with her kid, but they couldn’t lower the securing lap rail over her midsection. So, she held the ride up while she tried to get out, but couldn’t. Finally the attendants made it over to help her out of her seat and off the ride. That was in front of at least a couple-hundred spectators!! AHH!!
    Imagine her poor kid’s embarrassment.

    • Jessica says:

      Ohhh, that’s terrible! Yes, obesity is a big problem for both men and women in the States. It makes me sad because it really is a cultural issue that has a lot to do with the way our society is structured. It really is true that it is cheaper to eat at McDonald’s than to eat healthfully, though of course the counter argument is that the health costs are much greater with McDonald’s. Also interesting is the obesity rate in certain parts of the country compared to others… The obesity problem is even more striking when you’ve lived in a part of the world where obesity is almost nonexistent. In Taiwan, people turned heads if you were either a) blond, or b) obese.

      And yeah, it KILLS me when I see overweight people riding electric carts around in stores, etc. By not even trying to use their muscles for what they were intended, they are only making a solvable problem worse!!

  5. An amusing story for everyone except the lady involved (and maybe the truck driver).

  6. Eric Alagan says:

    LOL! Good one – some people expect the world to fit in with their demands (pun unintended).

    Then again, with all that fuming and pacing – she figures she’ll lose enough weight to squeeze :-)

    • Jessica says:

      Perhaps she does! Though I think she’d have to do A LOT of fuming and pacing — probably several weeks’ worth, and without food, too — for her plan to be effective.

      But you’re right about people wanting the world to fit in with and revolve around their needs and wants. I understand that we are all under a lot of stress and pressure much of the time, but we are ALL under a lot of stress and pressure much of the time.

  7. Dalo 2013 says:

    That is too funny…kinda feel bad for the truck driver who is going to get an earful :-)

  8. JMC813 says:

    LOL Thanks for the chuckle Jessica. Hope that wasn’t an abandoned truck. She could be there a while. Has anyone ever had to use the Jaws of life to get INTO a vehicle? Hmmmm Thanks for sharing this. I can so imagine it in my head.

    John (JMC)

    • Jessica says:

      Haha. I have no idea if someone has used the Jaws of Life to get into a vehicle, but I wouldn’t be surprised! My guess is that the truck wasn’t there when the lady parked but, rather, came while she was in the store. Otherwise I’m not sure how she would have gotten out in the first place!

      So glad this made you laugh!!

      • JMC813 says:

        Good point Why didn’t I think of that. Wouldn’t have suited my joke as well but makes sense. Thanks again for the laugh. Love your blog.
        Keep inspiring

        JMC

  9. 1EarthUnited says:

    And therein lies the solution! From this situation, she could choose to ride a bike to the market, buy healthier foods, donate food to the poor and eat less. All viable solutions for a fit and healthy mind-body-soul. Help others to help yourself, win-win!

    Wishing you a most joy filled holiday season, much love and blessings Jessica. ♥

    • Jessica says:

      Ahh, if only people took such lessons to heart more often! Lifestyle changes aren’t easy, especially if we like to point fingers rather than looking at we ourselves can and should be doing differently. Somehow I think this lady was of the latter sort…

      But I totally agree!!!

      And the best of the best holiday seasons to you, too! 2014 is almost here. Let’s make it a great year!!

  10. Amresh Kumar says:

    hahaha what a interesting story and yes mirror always explain all the words without saying … hahaha :)

  11. Aussa Lorens says:

    Ha– oh, I have definitely done my fair share of crawling over from the drivers side. But mostly because I have a way of owning cars that do things like suddenly stop opening from certain doors. I love that you blogged this special moment for the rest of us to enjoy…

    • Jessica says:

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Honestly, it happened several days ago, and I kept thinking that I needed to write about it. My life has been crazy lately and I haven’t been able to blog as much as I’d like. But I’m glad I finally got it out there. There is nothing more rewarding than when other people can relate to your writing!

      • Aussa Lorens says:

        I think everyone’s life is a whole new level of crazy right now… after the New Year we can all get back to spending copious amounts of time talking to strangers on the internet.

    • Jessica says:

      You’re the best, Robert! Thank you! I am going to have to take a week just to follow up on awards I’ve been given in the last six months. I am way behind. But it means a lot to me!! I really ought to award this back to you!!

      Oh, and Merry Christmas to you, too! :)

      • Robert Mudge says:

        you are quite wonderful yourself! no problem, i totally understand. this is more about me just letting you know you and your blog are appreciated. means a lot knowing it means a lot :). thank you!

        merry Christmas to you and yours! hopefully your air travel adventures have become more bearable, ha.

  12. The question you have to ask is how she got out in the first place…

  13. Mabel Kwong says:

    What a funny story! I would hate to be in the woman’s shoes for sure. Life has the most unusual ways of making our lives difficult. But we can’t do much except roll with the punches.

    • Jessica says:

      Life has a way of making things difficult? Yes, that’s true. But I feel often we contribute to our own demises, too. As I said in a comment above, lifestyle changes can be difficult. I LOVE to exercise, but if I were 100 pounds overweight? Exercise would be a lot more work! I really applaud people who push themselves to make big changes for the better in their personal lives. It’s not easy!

  14. Subhan Zein says:

    That’s hilarious. I know that’s gonna happen to me sometime soon.

  15. My friend, Professor Taboo stopped by my blog to share a link to yours as someone he’s enjoyed (and thought me people would, too). After reading this post, I understood why! I love observing & sharing the awkward and absurd moments that creep up in life…and so much more. We are sharing the love on my blog today, so please feel free to stop by and see what the Professor had to say about you…and to share a little blog love for some other deserving soul if you’d like. :-)

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you so so much — both of you. The professor has become a dear friend of mine, and it warms my heart to know he thinks well of me, too. This post is one of my sillier ones, but I really enjoyed writing it. I think there is much to be gained simply by observing the world around us. I will try to read more of your work soon, too. My schedule has been a bit nuts this holiday season. I haven’t been blogging at all!

      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I look forward to getting to know you better next year!

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